The Phenergan Song
I was beginning to worry about her. That is, until we were on our way home and she started making up a song about Phenergan. At that point, I began to feel a bit of relief and even amusement at her sudden change in demeanor. A migraine that wouldn’t go away had been plaguing Mary for days, and it wasn’t getting any better. She had called the doctor’s office earlier to make an appointment so she could get some relief. I drove her to her appointment, where the doctor gave her a shot of Phenergan, a drug with powerful sedative properties, after which the doctor asked her to hang around for about fifteen minutes to make sure she didn’t have an allergic reaction to it. As we sat in the waiting room, I looked at her prescriptions. One was for Tylox, a major pain reliever, and another was for more Phenergan—wait, did I read that right?—suppositories? Ok, first… eww. Second, why on earth suppositories? And third, the prescription was written as follows:
30 Phenergan suppositories, one by mouth daily as needed. By mouth? Again, eww.
“Sweetie, did you know that she gave you suppositories?” I whispered.
“Thoshe go innn your booty!” she exclaimed, slurring and giggling, causing everyone in the office to look our way with curious glances.
“Yes, Pumpkin, I know,” I said quietly as I tried to contain her. “The doctor prescribed suppositories instead of pills for you. Did you know that?”
Turning to me with glassy eyes and a silly grin, she looked around before loudly whispering, “She gave me pills for my booty, but that’s icky, so I’m, I’m… not eeeven gonna get that one filled.” Then, with a giggle and a surreptitious glance around the room, she put a finger to her lips and slurred a stealthy “Shhhhhh.” As Mary was quickly slipping into a Phenergan–induced stupor, I thought it best to head home, as it was clear by now that the only reaction she was having was not the kind that required medical attention. We gathered...
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